Abandonment is a feeling where a person is subjective to an emotional state in which he feels undesired, insecure, and discarded.
Abandonment is also a form of anxiety. You are too worried about the fact that another person will leave you because you are just not good enough for them. It has a huge impact on a person’s ability to trust others.
Abandonment issues can arise due to any reason such as losing a loved one, parent, or even a relationship. But you are not alone as millions of people suffer from such beliefs and behavior.
We all need to recognize the signs so that we can work on our mindset and shift it towards a desirable position.
Some common signs that depict that you are suffering from abandonment issues are:
1. Quick to attach
You attach too quickly with people. You don’t assess the other person properly and get attached to them because of the fear that they will leave you or will find someone better than you. The best example of this is getting into a relationship with whom you just met or went on a date with. Without thinking that can you be in a relationship with such a person you just end up being with them.
2. Too Quick to move on
When a relationship of any sort ends instead of giving yourself some mental and emotional space because of the breakup you just try finding someone new or do something exciting to distract yourself from the subject.
3. More of a partner pleaser
Since you are too afraid that the other person will leave you so to prevent that you just try molding yourself according to them. You completely change yourself and try to be someone who is not you but someone another person wants you to be.
4. Settle for less
The fear of being alone just haunts you that you are ready to settle for less. You are willing to be in situations that you know are unhealthy for you just because you don’t want to feel lonely.
5. Try to find flaws in others
You ignore the positive attributes of other people and tend to focus more on their negative attributes so if things don’t go well you can just tell yourself that they are the ones to be blamed and not you.
6. Feel unworthy of love
You keep your mind entangled in negative thoughts that you believe that no one will love you and keep questioning yourself that why someone will ever love you. This is something that holds you back from having relationships.
7. To feel insecure
You suffer from low self-esteem and you doubt every single decision that you take. Anxiety is your best friend and your mind is home to you not being good enough thoughts.
8. Trust issues
You have severe trust issues. You find it really hard to trust others. You believe that trusting others makes you vulnerable and you are just not ready to bring your guards down. You are a pessimist so you are just too afraid to give others any chance of hurting you.
9. Overanalyze stuff
You observe anything you see or hear and then overanalyze it by creating scenarios that you know will never happen.
10. Show hypersensitivity towards criticism
Since you have low self-esteem and feel that others are better than you, you become sensitive towards criticism. Criticism makes you emotionally weak and you just don’t dare to face it.
11. Anger
You keep your anger bottled up inside and when it reaches the surface you just lash it out on others.
12. Too Controlling
You believe that whatever happened in the past was because you were unable to control it so as a result you become extra controlling and try to control everything around you even you try controlling other people as well.
13. Picking wrong partners
You pick partners who are not available or are not a good match for you. This way you keep yourself away from emotional intimacy and you have a feeling that nothing wrong can ever happen in that way.
14. To sabotage relationship opportunities
You avoid reaching a point where someone can break your heart or hurt your feelings which is the sole reason that you avoid taking the risk of getting into a relationship.
15. To blame yourself for breakups
The person suffering from abandonment issues is usually bad at keeping relationships for a long period. So, when a relationship ends, they make themselves believe that it is their fault and they were not emotionally, intellectually, or even romantically good for the other person.
Now the question is are you actually suffering from abandonment issues? If you think any of the points aforementioned implies on you then the answer is yes.
Now, the next question is how to deal with it? So, the first thing that you need to understand is that it is okay to feel in a particular way.
You need to start taking baby steps and the first step that is required to be taken is to let yourself trust others. It might sound really hard but it isn’t. Trusting others doesn’t mean that you have to share your secrets with them just try telling them some details about yourself that they are unaware of.
You need to start investing in relationships which can be friendships. This will make you realize that some people genuinely care about you and are ready to invest in the relationship that you guys share. As a result, you will feel more relaxed among people and won’t be caught up by anxiety all the time.
Try giving chance to the people around you, try letting them know you because such people exist who think that you are more than good enough. This all might sound scary but trust me you need to give this all a chance it will help you in dealing with your abandonment issues for sure.
Pin it for later!
Read more:
How to overcome the victim mentality?
How to empathize with others when you are yourself hurting?
