4 Simple Ways to Overcome Parental Rejection

4 Simple Ways to Overcome Parental Rejection

Rejection is something everyone has had to deal with at some point in life. But being rejected by a parent, the one person that is supposed to naturally love and accept you,  is a pain like no other. When a parent rejects you, your foundation is immediately broken.  You are deprived of feeling love and warmth that others get to experience from their mothers, and this can lead to major insecurities as a child and as an adult. The feeling of pain, sadness, shock, anger, denial, frustration, and sometimes obsession often arise from parental rejection, so it is important to learn how to handle these emotions. These feelings take up a lot of space emotionally and can hinder you from thriving. 

pexels-photo-247195 4 Simple Ways to Overcome Parental Rejection4 Simple Ways to Overcome Parental Rejection

#1   Know that it is not your fault

 I know personally, I was asking everyone that knew my mother if they understand why my mother did not love me or can’t stand me. I wanted to know so I can fix myself. The feeling of “it was all my fault” or blaming myself was constant music in my ears. I was so angry that I was not my mother’s dream child. I hated myself for looking and being the way I am.  This is because I thought that my mother rejected me because of something I did or something was wrong with me. At this point, it is important to realize that it was not your fault.

You need to come to terms with the fact that you cannot control the way your mother acts and focus on what you can control,  which in this case is your responsibility. Do your best to remind yourself that the rejection is more about the person who rejected you.

#2 Deal with the pain

Owning that it was not your fault will not automatically take away the pain of rejection. Being rejected by your parent can stir up emotions like; pain, anger, shock, frustration, and even obsession.  It is important to grieve the loss of that person. So guess what I did, I grieved the loss of my mother. This is how she has not been an important factor in my life. It would be very unhealthy to pretend as though it doesn’t hurt,  as this will further delay your recovery.

Even as you deal with your pain it is important to have someone that you trust to talk with, it can be a friend, family member, or even a therapist. You should also find an outlet for your emotions especially your anger. Find ways to counteract these negative effects by engaging in positive activities to control anger. Activities like boxing, running, painting, writing, music, and dance can become an outlet for you. There have been times I sit in my car and just scream until I can no longer do it. This has been an excellent source of anger outlet. Whatever emotions I am feeling I do not minimize or dismiss. I allow myself to feel so I can move on to the next step of my healing process. I have learned that when I dismiss my true emotions, they show up as bad behaviors towards myself and others.

#3 Family is still important

Even after dealing with and coming to terms with your pain, it is important to reach out to other members of your family. The importance of family should not be reduced or neglected. Do not let parental rejection hinder you from having a family. You should find family members who truly love and accept you; it could be your other siblings, grandparents, uncles, and aunts. Please make sure that these family members are not flying monkeys. But if you do not find a family that accepts and loves you, you get to choose your own family as you get older. The beauty of life is that family does not necessarily have to be blood-related. As long as they are for you and your wellbeing, girl, that is your family.

#4  Build other strong relationships

After you have dealt with your pain and grieved, it is important to not let this experience hinder you from experiencing beautiful relationships in life. The insecurities of parental rejection can affect the way you relate with friends, family members, romantic relationships, and even strangers. I have a hard time trusting people, and this stems from me not believing I deserve love from anyone. I always feel like they are going to reject me so I do the rejecting first before they do. The feeling of wanting to distance yourself from others to avoid being rejected again may arise. It is important to remember your self-worth in these relationships and let your relationships naturally develop without you trying to force them. Finally, you can also reach out to other people who have experienced this type of rejection and share your experiences, values, and beliefs. There are plenty of healthy support groups out there. Find the one that is best for you in your healing journey.

As you embark on this journey to deal with parental rejection, know that you first have to heal before you can branch out to have healthy relationships with others. From healing, you will develop a healthy and loving relationship with yourself, and that will promote a healthy relationship with others. Good luck. 

Read More:

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