In your daily life, you may find a day where you need to stand up for yourself. The situation can be as little as someone cutting a line in front of you or a coworker ripping your ideas in a meeting.
It is okay to let go of such little things but sometimes being more assertive is important to get what you want, to make people listen to you, to share your ideas effectively, and most importantly to not let anyone take you for granted.
The difficult, as well as the tricky part, is learning the art of standing up for yourself. It might not be only uncomfortable from a social point but it can also bring up old insecurities.
Usually, people having a history of trauma are more likely to be mistreated in the future. So it may be tough for you if you went through a toxic situation to stand up for yourself. But the good part is that you can always decide when to make the change.
Whatever your reasons may be it is always possible to stand up for yourself, all it needs is some practice and courage.
Five ways to stand up for yourself
Here is a situation that many of us have found ourselves in, that is sharing room space with a messy friend or even a co-worker. You might have remained silent and got annoyed by the mess your roommate made but instead of saying something to them you just ended up aggressively cleaning the room.
You need to be more deliberate and to talk to your roommate and tell them how it bothers you. Speaking and using your voice help other people to understand you and to learn how to respond to you.
No one can read your mind so it is necessary to speak up and to stand up using your voice in situations you think you are being mistreated in. If you have something in mind the best time to bring it up is when the other person is willing to listen to you.
So if you want to discuss something important make sure that it’s the time when another person is ready to listen to you because bringing up a matter in the wrong place and time always ends up with a nasty ending. Always remember to be deliberate with your words.
Learn to say “NO”
I was someone who used to say yes to everything and tried making other people happy and if you have the same habit then my friend it might be a tough one to break.
I could never say No even if I wanted to. The situation can be as simple as saying no to a party because you feel uncomfortable being around so many people or if someone asks favor such as helping them in the assignment and you have other work to do but you end up saying okay and overburden yourself.
We need to learn that it’s completely fine to say no if we don’t feel like doing something. We need to be a little more selfish and to prioritize ourselves. Learning to say no is a freeing feeling.
You need to understand that you should always be your priority, your needs are important and you should not suffer because of someone else’s actions.
Work on your body language
Your body language shows a lot about you. You can easily tell how you are feeling just by your body language.
So, if you have trouble for standing up for yourself you can work on your body language to ensure that you are sending a clear message to others around you.
It can be standing straight instead of slouching to appear more assertive or to stand relaxed with hands on the side to appear more receptive to a conversation.
If you are in a place where you don’t feel like staying, just leave that place it will show that you were being uncomfortable and you just left. Try connecting with your body because as people say if you are feeling good inside it will show outside.
No one can invalidate you
We all need to digest the fact that we all have complete ownership of our actions and feelings. Your emotions, ideas, beliefs, and thought belong to you and no one can tell you what to feel or to invalidate you.
The same goes the other way around, you are no one to invalidate others as well. No one has the right to ignore you, to be rude, or even to deny your feelings. You need to keep playing this mantra in mind and understand that no one can invalidate you without your consent. Always remember that you deserve respect!
If they don’t give respect to you, bear in mind that you can and should always give it to you. You only have so much energy to make people do what you like.
Practice and practice
If you believe that you need to be more assertive then you need to practice it in your daily life as practice makes a man perfect.
Practice asking what you want or openly disagree with someone. According to research, it takes almost 66 days to form a new habit so practicing assertiveness for almost two months will automatically surprise you.
Remember being assertive does not at all mean controlling others or even bossing them around. You need to figure out the balance between standing up for yourself and not being bossy. Learning to stand up for yourself will not happen overnight so be patient.
While being in the learning stage one should consider himself as an actor who has a new role for a play so keep faking it until you make it.
Also, imagine the most assertive person you know and ask yourself what that person will do in such a situation this will help a lot because we learn things from seeing others practicing it.
Being assertive and standing up for yourself is just similar to riding a bike difficult at the start but eventually, you find the right balance. I hope that we all understand what standing up for ourselves means, its importance and end up growing as strong individuals.