Last week, I talked about five types of toxic moms. One of them is an angry mom.
An angry mom is a mom that is in a constant state of anger. If you were raised by such a mother, you always have to walk on eggshells because you don’t want to make her upset. That is not a good home environment as it not only really devalues the child, the child is unsure of herself and is constantly trying to parent her mom at the same time because she doesn’t want to make her mom upset. So she is always careful. The child is forced to be grown up and misses out on really being a child and we don’t want that. So let’s get into it.
• It Is Not Your Fault
The first step on how to deal with an angry mom is to acknowledge that it is not your fault that your mom is always angry. Like everyone else, our moms have issues too and a lot of times, they don’t want to deal with or don’t want to address it. Sometimes they don’t even know how to deal with their own problems. So we have to grant them grace.
But the first thing you need to do is you need to remember is it is not your fault. Your mom. again, has her own issues and this is preventing her from expressing anything other than anger. That’s the first thing.
• Walk Away
The second step here is the power move, walking away. When you walk away, you’re letting her know you’re not going to participate in her behaviour, in her anger. Again it’s not your fault that she’s angry. So to pull the power card and walk away.
• Establish Boundaries
The third thing here is to establish clear boundaries. Walking away is a form of establishing clear boundaries, truly but another way to establish clear boundaries is to say “I am not going to tolerate it.” You can be verbal about it. You don’t have to be rude or disrespectful to your mom. Just be verbal and say,“I am not okay with this behavior. I will not be treated as such.”
• Appreciate Yourself
The fourth and final way is for you to learn to appreciate yourself. Of course, when you grow up in a home where your mom is angry that devalues you. You grow up feeling like you’re not valuable but that’s not right because guess what? You are enough! I cannot stress that enough
Once you figure out it is not your fault, you’ll learn how to walkaway and learn how to establish clear boundaries.
Appreciate yourself and I believe in therapy as a way to help you value and appreciate yourself. Go to therapy, talk to someone about the problem so you can iron it out. If you are a religious person, go to your religious gathering. If you’re a spiritual person, do what is going to give you the opportunity to appreciate yourself.
Tell me how you appreciate yourself.
Did you grow up with an angry mom or an angry parent or an angry family member that you always had to walk on eggshells around?
It is no news that we have that one person in our family that everybody tries not to upset and sometimes, we grew up with parents where one of the parent is aware that the other always angry and but makes excuses for them.
Please share your experience and how you have been able to deal with and overcome it. Do you have other ways on how to deal with an angry mom?
Remember you and I are not the only individuals that have mommy issues. There are a lot of women with similar issues but most of them are ashamed to talk about it or they feel guilty talking about it because they don’t want to upset their moms.
Understand that it is not your responsibility to change your mommy. It is not your responsibility to change any one but it is your responsibility to work on yourself and stand in your truth.If you don’t want to talk about it on social media, you can go to therapy and talk to a therapist. A therapist is like a girlfriend that you pay to keep your business private. They are not going to talk to anyone about it. So make the move now.
Until next time.
Be good to yourself and have a good day.