The different form of self-hatred (Internal Racism)
I keep hearing about this “self-hatred” word but I am confused by it. What exactly is self hatred? Do people know that their actions demonstrate self hatred? Do I know when my action is as such? What is Internal racism?
For example, as the only black manager/supervisor or member of a team, you expect that they should look out for their own kind and be held accountable, right? Well, let me tell you something. There are black people that are racist to their own kind.
Picture this; You work with this black co-worker that goes out of his way to be interactive, friendly and kind to the white people and yet barely recognizes nor speaks to his/her own kind. As a matter of fact, this black co-worker/manager/supervisor always finds faults with their own kind and reports to the management team. They get promoted, and are automatically on a mission to get rid of all the other blacks in the building.
Okay, let me play the devil’s advocate for a minute. It could be that they are more comfortable with white people. Maybe they grew up around whites. I don’t know. Maybe they want to toughen up all the other blacks and make them “better employees”. I have heard it all! Now, I am not saying every black individual that has succeeded took this path, however, some did, and I have witnessed a few. They get promoted until they reach the glass ceiling and for some reason, at this point, they start to see that they have been used.
The question is, what happened? Where was this behavior taught and learned? Was it from home? Are they practicing what was taught to them? Do they see this as their means to strike gold or their method of survival? Is this a result of ethnic stereotypes? Are they trying to prove that they don’t relate to the “black people “ stereotype? Would you consider this mental slavery? Rub elbows with the whites and sell your own? See, the thing is this, you don’t have to be locked up to be in prison.
What about the black man that finds black women ugly and undesirable but his mother is a dark skinned black woman. You hear it all the time. As a matter of fact, I just saw on my Facebook feed, a video of a black man speaking so angrily of black women and spreading hate. Believe it or not, there are black people that only feel accomplished when they are rubbing elbows with white people. Some black men marry outside of their race to feel better about themselves or just to get the “I have arrived” look! For some others, it’s because they believe black women are not “as fun” or are “too aggressive” or even “sexually inhibited”. Some are even just trying to fit into the “interracial relationship” trend! Think about it! If you have not seen the “Waiting to Exhale” movie, please do. Don’t get me wrong, not all people that marry outside of their race think like this. Some marry for love.
So, who is to blame here for internal racism? Media? School? Parents? I know this dark skin couple whose son wants nothing to do with black women. He is only in high school. Where did he develop such thought? What did he witness? Okay, this is what I noticed; the father is married to a black woman but always talking about white women and their beauty. Both husband and wife treat their white friends with such priority. When you meet the father, he is always so quick and proud to tell you about his white friends as if it’s a prize. So, could this be the reason?
Well, if you are at work with a black co-worker, supervisor or manager, please don’t go thinking they have your back. Do your work like you should. Dot your I’s and cross your T’s. Hold yourself accountable and do your best work regardless who your manager is. Be mindful and professional. To my beautiful black sisters, if you have a brother that wants nothing to do with you because you are a black woman, sistah, don’t let it break you. You are beautiful and by every means desirable. Thank God that he wants nothing to do with you. He is more damaged and dangerous than you can imagine. If you are a parent, I am not telling you how to be a parent, but just remember, kids zoom in on our actions more than we know.