- Angry Mother.
An angry mom is a type of toxic mother that is in a constant state of anger. This is not talking about a mom that is upset once in a while, agitated once in a while, or one that had a bad day. This is a mother constantly angry and causes the child has to walk on eggshells in the home. An angry mom uses their child as a verbal punching bag. This is not a safe environment for the child, the child is in a constant state of anxiety, trying to prevent the mother from having an emotional explosion.
The child is burdened with responsibility of prevent the mother from being upset. This type of burden cause the child to self blame for their mother’s action.
It is not fair and it is not safe for the child! A child raised by an angry mom creates in the child a feeling of always being wrong. This usually leads the child to be a people pleaser.
• Controlling Mother.
This type of toxic mother takes charge OF every aspect in a child’s life leaving the child unable to make decisions of their own. They don’t trust their own thoughts, their wants or their needs. They’re always second-guessing themselves and always questioning themselves. This is not a good mom. A mother in control of your mind increases the chances of the child becoming a habitual liar.
The lying is initiated and continued to keep the mother happy. the relationship between the mother and daughter is filled with guilt and manipulation. This is not a healthy relationship, it is unfair to the child and absolutely wrong.
The worst of them all is a narcissistic mother! This kind of toxic mother is always seeking attention and is totally self-involved. They lack empathy for their kids as they command attention and adoration to be on them at all times. A very difficult situation for the child, the child becomes unsure of who they are, and they are subservient to the mother’s ego, yet, expected to shine and be successful to put the spotlight back on the mother. The mother is incapable of attending to the Childs needs.
An example would be, a friend invited me to a birthday party, the birthday party was for her friend 16 year old daughter birthday. Do you know that the 16 year old’s mother came into the room expected to be the center of attention? Attention was focused on the mother all night, because, she outshined her daughter by dressing more provocative than her daughter. A sad scene to watch.
• Envious Mother.
Mothers that are enraged by the thought of their child’s successful, a facial expression filled with contempt and the mother believes that the only way that she can have comfort and secure a bond with her child is when the child feels low self-worth. This is heart-breaking ! I can’t imagine the only way some children can have a relationship with their mother is when they think low of themselves. A lot of times, this happens with mothers that claim to have given up their lives for their children. They end up having resentment and bitterness and they cannot handle their child’s success or anyone else’s. That is not a good mom at all.
Emotionally Unavailable Mother.
This is my mother! Guys, I have to tell you something. Honestly, until a couple of days ago, I saved my mother’s phone numbers under ice cold. Why? Because my mother is never emotionally available. She cannot be there emotionally. She’s just not present, she is cold and she is numb and a lot of times, this type of toxic mother has experienced something that has made them numb and cold but they refuse to talk about it or seek treatment.
If you want to change, grow and heal, you have have to seek help.
It was difficulty growing up with emotionally unavailable mother. As a child, I unable to manage my emotions, organize my thoughts or even plan out my life. I was incapable of handling stress, I felt guilty for having positive emotions and I felt like I was not a priority to anyone.
As a 36 year old adult, I just had a mental breakdown from all the years of suppressing, dismissing, and discounting my feelings, wants, needs, etc. I am learning to fill my cup, use my voice, and know that I matter. Everyday I fight. I fight to remove the negative thoughts and feelings I have about myself. And guess what? You can do it too!
I want you to be so good to yourself, be so kind to yourself, and know that you are enough. No matter what anyone said before, you are enough. You matter and you are valuable. Please do not forget that. You are worth it.